Twilight
by KaiaLuna
Summary: A character shift. Jasper is the single Cullen in Forks. This is his and Bella's one shot Twilight story.


**Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight. All recognizable plot and characters belong to the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**Little One Shot I wrote one night when I couldn't sleep. It is twilight with Jasper the single one. Hope you enjoy.**

**Please review!**

I looked over at the table of five Jessica was talking about. The Cullen's. They were the most beautiful people I had ever seen. One, a boy with copper colored hair was frowning, like he was concentrating on something. The beautiful and petite girl at his side had her hand resting gently on his arm. The stunning blonde looked bored as she leaned against the massive brown haired guy behind her who was talking quietly to her. A little separate from the two couples was a blonde haired guy. He looked almost pained, sitting against the wall and staring out the windows. His blond hair fell past his ears in messy waves.

I turned back to Jessica when I noticed the copper haired boy had turned to look at me. "They are all like together too. You know, together, together."

"They aren't actually related Jess." Angela cut in.

"I know but still, they all live together, its weird."

"So are they new?"

"They moved here last summer but they really stick to themselves." Angela answered my question.

"Yeah, they think they are to good for anyone here." Jessica rolled her eyes her voice a little bitter. "I bet Jasper is waiting for Dr. Cullen to adopt him a girlfriend." She snorted.

"Come on, let's go to class." Angela rose from the table and I followed her, fighting the urge to look back at the gorgeous table of Cullen kids.

Edward, the copper haired brother was in my biology class. The only free seat was next to him. He was acting weird in class; he just sort of glared at me. He was polite and said hello when I took my seat but other than that said nothing to me.

The week passed rather uneventfully. The only interesting thing, well odd thing really was that my lab partner still sort of glared at me sometimes. Over the weekend I went shopping with Jessica and went over to Angela's for a movie. It was easy to settle into a routine that first week and I imagined that would be my life from now on. I was wrong.

Monday morning started out exactly as I thought it would until lunch. I was leaving my class when a musical voice stopped me.

"Excuse me, Bella." She called.

I turned to see the very petite brown-haired Cullen approaching me. "Hello." I blushed.

"You dropped this." She said handing me my small notebook that I used to keep quotes I liked.

"Thanks." I took it from her and dropped it into my bag making sure the loose zip was properly closed this time.

"I'm Alice." She introduced herself.

"Bella." I replied though she obviously already knew that.

"Your Edward's lab partner." I nodded though it wasn't a question. "You are also in my English class. Have you read Great Expectations yet? I finished it this morning."

I nodded and we talked about class and then books as we got in line for our lunches. I looked over to the table I usually sat at as we paid. Jessica and Lauren were both staring at me, Lauren with a glare and Jessica with an excited look she got whenever there was a hint of new gossip.

"Want to eat lunch with us today?" Alice asked as I finished paying.

"Oh, um, sure." I followed her to the back table her family always sat at. It was a little separated from the others in the lunchroom.

"This is my family, Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and you already know Edward." She told me sitting down. There was already a sixth chair between Alice and Emmett. Usually the five chairs they used were the only ones present. I had learned over my first week that the Cullen's really only associated with each other and despite the gossiping, the rest of the students gave them a wide berth. I figured it was because they were all so beautiful. They all seemed so perfect it was a little intimidating to be in their presence. "Everyone this is Bella."

"Hello." I blushed as I sat.

"So Bella. You are from Arizona right?" I nodded and turned my attention back to Alice. Rosalie was scowling at me and the other three staring like I had grown a second head or was some odd creature in the zoo. "Why did you move here?"

"Oh, uh, my mom got remarried."

"You didn't like the guy?" Edward spoke up.

"No, Phil, he's fine, a nice guy. It's just that he plays baseball and has to travel and my mom really misses him when he's gone but she had to stay with me so I decided to just come live with Charlie for a while."

"Do you like it here?" He continued.

I shrugged, "It's very green." I blushed again at my lame reply but it was the only thing I could think of to say.

"You miss home." Jasper spoke. His voice was low and rich, like honey.

I nodded, "I miss the sun."

"Not much of that here." Emmett chuckled.

"No," I agreed laughing, "Even when I used to visit Charlie in the summer it was often cold and wet."

"So you moved to a place you don't like for your mother to spend more time with her new husband?" Edward asked, a slight frown on his perfect features again.

I nodded, "She was unhappy when he was gone."

"Now you are unhappy." He persisted.

I just shrugged, "It's not terrible."

"Do you get along with your father?" Alice asked.

I nodded, "Charlie's great. We're a lot alike, both pretty independent. He works and fishes and pretty well leaves me to my own thing. Do you like your adoptive parents?"

"Yes. We love Carlisle and Esme." Alice told me, quickly refocusing the question on me, "Will you go back to Arizona for college?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I haven't really thought about college much. I suppose I could but my mom and Phil have moved to Jacksonville."

"What about your friends, you must miss them." Edward asked.

I shrugged, "I wasn't really close with anyone."

"Why?" He asked.

I shrugged again, "I just never really fit in I guess."

"Do you like X-box or Wii?" Emmett asked, and from there conversation went to games, movies and back to books.

I was both relieved and sorry when the bell rang signaling the end of lunch. I walked with Edward to Biology and we sat through a movie, I was grateful since my concentration was shot. My mind filled with the beautiful family I had spent my lunch with. I wasn't sure why Alice had asked me to eat with them or why people thought they were so stuck up. Ok so Rosalie was pretty cold and Jasper barely said more than three words but Alice was really sweet, a bundle of excitement and energy. Edward was still kind of broody and seemed to sometimes glare at me for no reason but he was nice and Emmett was really funny, his size didn't scare me anymore, he was just like a giant linebacker sized teddy bear.

As soon as I walked into gym Jessica grabbed my arm and pulled me into the girls change room, demanding details of my Cullen lunch. I knew she was disappointed that there wasn't much to tell but she was still really excited that I had eaten lunch with them.

It was the most interesting thing that happened all week. The rest of the week had gone by in the same manner as the first. None of the Cullen's approached me again and Jessica wrote it down as some strange anomaly. Edward stopped glaring at me like he was trying to bore a hole in my head to see my thoughts. He was pleasant even though he didn't say much and he was very smart, always doing his share of the lab work.

A couple weeks past and I was settled in to the routine I had imagined my first week here when again Alice Cullen added a wave.

It was a Friday afternoon when I saw her waiting by my truck.

"Hey Bella." She called grinning.

"Hey Alice. What's up?"

"We're going shopping." She told me bouncing a little.

"We are?"

"Yes." She nodded still grinning. "Tomorrow morning." She laughed and practically danced to the Volvo with her siblings in it calling back to me, "I'll pick you up at nine."

I shook my head in confusion and climbed into my truck. That night I did all my homework and cooked a nice dinner for Charlie. I went to bed early after informing him I was going to Port Angeles with Alice Cullen in the morning. He seemed pleased that I was going with her. It bothered him how some people shied away from them and I knew he and Billy had been in a fight about it. Billy really didn't like the Cullen's for some reason.

I woke up early and had a long hot shower. Charlie had already left to go fishing with Harry Clearwater. I wondered if I had imagined the odd invitation from Alice or if she really would show up at nine. I tried to hide my excitement when there was a knock at the door two minutes to nine.

Alice stood at the door beaming and bouncing a little, "Come on, we only have so much time." She told me hurrying me to the Volvo.

"Isn't this your…" I wasn't sure whether to say brother or boyfriend, "Edward's car?" I finished blushing.

She nodded, "I borrowed it. He didn't need it today, he's gone hiking with Emmett and Jazz." She looked over at me smiling, "It's ok, a lot of people think it's strange that we date our adoptive siblings but it's not like we really grew up together and you can't help who you love right."

I blushed, "I don't think it's strange. As long as you are happy it's no ones business."

She sent me a beautiful grin. "We are going to be good friends Bella. You will even come to love my crazy shopping addiction and makeover time."

I laughed at her, "We'll see about the shopping and makeover thing."

"I already know." She laughed, "Trust me."

"Ok." I told her laughing. I really liked Alice Cullen. "So how come you haven't talked to me at school the last two weeks?"

She frowned a little, "You haven't talked to me either."

I blushed and looked away, "No, I guess I haven't, sorry."

"Don't be." She sent me another grin, "I already told you, we are going to be very good friends. Just try not to let Rose get to you, she can be a bit cold and Jazz doesn't mean to be distant, just give him some time. Emmett is excited to see you again; he wants to challenge you to Mario Kart on the Wii. Carlisle and Esme are also excited to meet you. I thought you could come over next weekend. It will be fun. We'll do makeover's."

"Ok." I complied though the makeover thing made me a little nervous. "Um, Alice, where are we going?" I asked looked out the window.

"Seattle." She replied, "It's the closest shopping that is even half-way decent. I can't wait to take a trip to New York and Paris."

"I thought we were just going to Port Angeles."

She shook her head and laughed, "They have only a couple boutiques that are ok; mostly it's just this department store. I hate department stores, except Harrods and Saks of course."

She began to explain to me in detail what was in fashion this year and what would look best on me. I wasn't paying attention to how fast she was driving on the 101 so I was surprised when we arrived in only two and a half hours.

"You should eat before we shop." She told me as we parked in front of a cute café. "You'll like the sandwiches here."

I ordered a ham and Brie with sundried tomatoes and iced coffee. Alice got a small coffee and muffin. She continued to talk about what shops we needed to go to first and what we should buy. I noticed that while she picked at the muffin she didn't really eat it; she also didn't drink the coffee. I wondered if she just didn't eat much or if maybe she had some kind of eating disorder. I hoped not, she looked naturally petite and besides the light shadows under her eyes, she looked healthy.

Alice dragged me from one store to another picking out clothes for us both to try on. I liked some of it but other things were a bit much for me. I tried to protest when she bought me things but Alice didn't listen. She would pout when I complained and argued that she had asked me to come shopping and I had agreed so I couldn't complain when she wanted to buy me something. I wasn't used to accepting things from people, gifts had always made me uncomfortable but somehow Alice would end up buying me things in each store, not making them feel like gifts really, just shoving bags into my hands and tugging me to another shop without time to thank her or complain. I was nervous about how much money she was spending but she just waved it off. By dinnertime, I was exhausted. Alice took us to an Italian place where again I noticed she didn't seem to eat much.

She chattered the whole way back to Forks about the makeup she had bought and the next weekend when she would get to play 'Bella Barbie' and give me a makeover.

Charlie was watching the game when I got back. I tiredly told him about my day and asked about his before trudging up and falling into bed. When I woke up the next morning, I couldn't stop thinking about Alice. I really liked her but I was worried about how little she ate, I couldn't actually remember seeing her take a bite at all, though he muffin had been in crumbles and her dinner had looked like at least a little had been eaten. Her skin when she grabbed my hand to drag me to a new store was also ice cold, like she had stuck it in a snowdrift. I had noticed this about Edward to, when his hand had brushed mine during a lab.

I couldn't keep my thoughts away from the Cullen's all day and was both excited and nervous for Monday morning. I wondered if Alice would hang out with me at school now or stay separated with her family. She had said Emmett wanted to hang out with me again but then she had said that as though it would only be when I visited their house the following weekend.

I looked around the lot when I arrived but didn't see the Volvo. I tried to hide my disappointment. It was a rare and sunny day and I was determined to enjoy it. I couldn't help looking for Alice during English or any of them again at lunch but they were still not there so I wasn't surprised to find my table in Biology empty, Edward no where to be found.

As I walked with Jessica to the parking lot after gym I got up the courage to ask Jessica. If anyone knew if something was up it was our resident gossip queen.

"Hey Jess, do you know why the Cullen's aren't in school today?"

"Yeah," she answered, "Dr. Cullen pulls them all out of school on nice days and the whole family does outdoorsy things, hiking and kayaking and stuff. They are big campers apparently. I tried that on my parents once" she rolled her eyes, "mom rolled her eyes, told me I was dreaming and to go to school, dad just laughed."

"Oh, ok, well, see you tomorrow." I went home, for the first time hoping for rain. It was another nice day on Tuesday. Wednesday was a bit cloudy but still nice, and still there were no Cullen's. I was annoyed when Thursday went back to being sunny; I mean come on this was Forks!

Finally, on Friday I woke up to the patter of rain and happily made my way through getting ready. I pulled on the distressed mid-wash skinny jeans Alice had gotten for me and paired it with a couple of layered shirts and my converse. Alice hated them but they were comfortable and I liked them.

When I arrived, I immediately saw the Volvo and pulled into a free spot one stall over on the opposite side of the parking lot. Alice came dancing over and as soon as I stepped out, she handed me a pair of black ballet flats, grinning widely.

"I knew you would need these today." She laughed. "They go so much better with that outfit and they are comfortable while still being fashionable so they meet both our criteria."

I laughed at her and accepted the shoes quickly changing into them, "Better?"

"Much." She laughed and linked our arms to walk to the school, everyone was staring. "How was your week?"

"The same as usual. How was yours?"

She just shrugged, "Fine."

"I heard Dr. Cullen pulls you out of school all the time when the weather is nice."

"Yeah," she nodded, "We go hiking. Family bonding time." She shrugged seeming distracted and dazed for a minute. I had only a second to be concerned before she went back to grinning and started to bounce, "Tomorrow is going to be so fun. You'll come over in the morning. Esme is already planning the lunch she is going to make you and even Carlisle will be home from work. Everything is going to be perfect." I laughed, her enthusiasm was catching, "You go to class now and be careful walking down the aisle to your desk in history."

"Ok. See you later." I smiled at her siblings, waiting for her on the edge of the lot, and hurried to class. I was a little late when I got to second period since Jessica had stalled me after class to ask about Alice. I hurried in to history, forgetting Alice's odd warning and stumbled over some ones book bag bumping my hip painfully into a desk.

All through class, all I could think about was Alice's strange warning. Had she known that was going to happen? How could she have? At lunch, I hesitated before heading to my usual table but I found my gaze often wandering over to Alice and the other Cullen's.

"Alice says you are coming over tomorrow." Edward said as I sat next to him in Biology.

"Yeah." I nodded blushing.

"You two are friends?"

"I guess." I turned to look at him, "I mean, I don't know her very well but I like her and we had fun shopping last week." I laughed, "That is saying more than you'd think since I don't like shopping."

"Alice likes you to." He said with a fond smile. It dropped when he continued, "It's maybe not a good idea for you to be friends though."

"Why?" Edward just stared at me for a minute, his gaze only breaking when Mr. Banner began our lecture. I didn't have a chance to question him further during class and as soon as it was over, he was out of his seat.

All night my mind was consumed by thoughts of Alice and her family, my odd conversation with Edward running through my head. Alice had texted me just before bed.

_Don't listen to Edward. Please come tomorrow. I promise everything will be perfect eventually. We'll be best friends and the family will love you. Just come. Ignore Edward and Rosalie. Also don't mind Jasper, he doesn't mean to be distant, give him a chance._

The odd message just made me more confused but it made up my mind to go. I liked Alice and I wanted to be her friend.

I showed up at her house ten minutes late. I had left pretty early but had passed the turn off to her house twice. The drive was set into the woods, a gravel road that went for miles and ended at their beautiful mansion.

I got out of my truck and stared up at the house in admiration until I heard a squeal and turned to see Alice jumping up and down on the porch.

"We are going to have so much fun!" She called bouncing down to me.

"Sorry I'm late, I missed the turn off."

"I'll mark it for you next time. Come on." She pulled my arm and hurried up into the house. It was even more beautiful inside than out. Lit by natural light coming from huge windows, one wall was made up entirely of them; the house was decorated in beige and white. It had an open but warm feel. I loved it.

"This is beautiful."

"Esme is quite the designer. She'll be happy that you appreciate her work." Alice told me leading me into the sitting room.

"You know my siblings and these are my parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen."

"Dr. Cullen." I stepped forward and shook his cold hand.

"Carlisle please." He smiled kindly at me, almost dazzling me with his beauty.

I blinked and turned to his wife, "Esme." She told me immediately, "It is so nice to meet you Bella."

"It's nice to meet you too." I held out my hand politely to shake hers and she took it gently, smiling warmly at me.

"Are you hungry? Or perhaps a drink?" She offered.

I shook my head, "No thank you. I ate breakfast before I came."

"Come on Bella." Alice ushered me up the stairs laughing and bouncing. We went into her room where she had set up a table of makeup and nail stuff.

The room was a crème with blue accents. It was very pretty. I couldn't help but notice when she went to her closet to take out the bags of clothes she had gotten for me last weekend that there were men's clothes in there as well and I wondered just how liberal the doctor and his wife were when it came to their adoptive children dating.

I had taken home only two bags of the clothes I had bought in Seattle. Alice had six more filled with what she had chosen for me. I still had no idea what she had picked to keep from the outfits she had made me try on.

We spent the next hour and a half trying on all the various outfits and she picked one out for me to wear now. Dark, skinny, distressed jeans, soft suede red ballet flats with a lace edged red tank under a tightly fitted white button down. She painted my nails to match in a cherry red and despite the closed toe shoe; she had chosen she painted my toenails as well. Next, she did my makeup and I was relieved that she chose very subtle and light, only a thin black liner and mascara with a cherry tinted lip-gloss.

I painted her nails in a very pale ballet slipper pink and she chose royal blue peep toe stilettos, skinny jeans and a royal blue sweater. When she finished her own makeup, a bit more than I wore, she deemed our makeovers complete and we went downstairs to a delicious smelling lunch.

"We made grilled chicken wraps." Esme smiled at me. "I hope that is ok for you. Alice said you liked chicken."

"I do. Thank you. You didn't have to go to the trouble." I told her blushing.

"Oh it was no trouble." She assured me. "The others have eaten so I'll just leave you two. Never mind the dishes when you are finished. Emmett broke my coffee table again and they are on his chore list."

I nodded, holding in a chuckle and went to sit with Alice where two plates were set. "Again?" I asked her quietly.

"He's not very gentle with the furniture." Alice laughed, "He breaks things all the time."

I ate, trying not to notice that Alice didn't. "I promised Emmett I'd let him play with you for an hour. He's really been looking forward to having a new Mario Kart opponent."

I laughed, "I don't know how much of a challenge I will be but it sounds like fun." She set our dishes in the sink and I followed her into the living room. Rosalie looked up at us, snorted and went back to her magazine. Edward held out his hand and Alice danced over to him, sitting in his lap and placing a quick kiss on his lips.

Emmett was grinning at me, "Come play with me Bellsy. Pixie has insisted I only get an hour. She wants to hog you all to herself."

I laughed, "Sure Emmy." I laughed again at his surprised look before his booming laugh filled the house.

"Come on then, I'll let you pick your guy first."

I picked the girl Toad and he laughed choosing Bowser. I beat him once out of the six games we played. He was really good and the time I won was a fluke because Alice distracted him in just the right moment by asking Rosalie if she wanted some new La Pearl thing in green or black, flashing a photo in a magazine of a very skimpy looking bra and panty set. He cursed while I laughed. Alice winked at me while he set up the second game.

When I called it quits I was surprised that only Rosalie remained in the room.

"Alice will be right back, she and Edward just stepped out to talk to Carlisle." Rosalie spoke in a bored voice.

"Ok." I said, a little unsure of what to do.

"We could play another game." Emmett offered looking excited.

"I want to go out to eat. Now." Rosalie said standing and dropping her magazine. "She'll be fine on her own until Alice is done."

"Ok, Rosie." Emmett sighed and winked at me, "We'll play later Mouse."

"Sure Bear." Emmett's booming laugh echoed down the hall as he and Rosalie left.

I wandered around the main floor for a bit before stepping out on the back porch. It was cloudy but warm and I could almost feel the electricity in the air of a coming storm.

I turned at a noise and saw Jasper sitting on a porch swing. "I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was out here."

"It's no problem." He answered quietly.

"I think a storm is coming."

"Yes."

I shifted uncomfortable, he didn't seem to want to talk to me but his eyes watched me with unnerving calm and steadiness. I felt a wash of calm move through me and sighed. "What are you reading?"

"It's a new book on the Civil War."

"Is it any good?"

"Not very. Where has my Pixie sister disappeared? She shouldn't have left you."

I shrugged, "I was playing the Wii with Emmett. Rosalie said she was talking to Carlisle."

"Why aren't you still playing?"

"Rosalie wanted to go out to eat." Jasper snorted. "Would you like me to go?"

"Do what you like." His indifferent tone stung and as though he could tell he immediately apologized, "I'm sorry. That was rude. My mother taught me better manners."

"Do you remember much about your real family?" I asked before blushing at the forward question.

"Not really." He answered quietly. "I remember my brother, we were always competing but I looked up to him. He died in an accident on the ranch when he was just twelve. I had a little sister but she was just a toddler, about six, last I saw her. My father was an honorable and good man. Hardworking, we might not have had much but we always had enough. He never over drank or had a cruel word. Even when I was in trouble he was fair and good. My mother was light and laughter, she smelled like fresh bread and sage. Small things come back sometimes but mostly I don't think about it or try to remember."

"Have you been with the Cullen's long?"

"Not really. Time is relative."

"Where were you born?"

"Texas."

"That's it then."

"What?"

"The accent. Some words you have a bit of an accent, especially just now when you were talking about your family."

He looked away as though he was embarrassed, "Can't seem to get rid of it."

"Why would you want to?" I thought it was sexy.

He just shrugged, "It marks me as different I guess."

"You don't like to be different?"

His gaze met mine again as he thought, "Do you?" he finally asked instead of answering.

I blushed, "I suppose, I mean, it doesn't really bother me or anything. I never really thought about if I liked not fitting in."

"You seem to fit in fine at school."

I sighed and leaned back against the rail, "I guess. It's just…" I trailed off not sure what to say to express how I felt.

"You pretend." He said softly, "You aren't like them but you move around with them, part of the group but not entirely one of them."

I nodded, surprised at how accurately his words described how I often felt at school. "Is it like that for you?"

"To an extent." He nodded. "I don't fit with the family as well as the others."

"Why?"

"I came from a different world I suppose."

"I thought you and Rosalie were twins?"

He looked away as he spoke next, "We were separated when we were younger. The Cullen's brought us back together. They found Rose first then me."

"It's good you were able to be reunited. I imagine some kids in foster care never are."

"No. I suppose they aren't." Our conversation trailed off and I thought he must be uncomfortable. He didn't seem to like talking about his past.

"Are you looking forward to graduating?"

He shrugged, "I am not a fan of going to school. It will be good to be finished for a while."

"Maybe you should take a year off. I always wanted to do that. Travel maybe."

"Yes." He smiled at me, "That is a very good idea."

My eyes met his dark honey ones and I was lost just looking at him. Something in his eyes seemed haunted and I had the urge to hold him in my arms and comfort him. I was startled from the thoughts by a loud crash of thunder. I spun around to see the sky open up as it began to pour.

"We should go inside." Jasper's voice came from directly behind me.

"Hmm." I agreed, still watching the rain coming down. I shivered as I felt his body behind me and knew he was only an inch away. Another loud boom cracked the air and was followed by lightning briefly brightening the darkened sky.

"You like thunderstorms." He whispered next to my ear. "I'd thought ya hated the rain." His accent was thick and it made heat pool in my belly.

"The dreary dull and cold gray of days here, yes, but thunderstorms are different." I whispered back. "Can't you feel the electricity in the air? I feel it in my veins." I jumped a little as another crack broke the quiet.

Jasper stepped closer to me so we were almost touching and I couldn't help but lean back a little against him as I watched the rain and the darkened woods. His hand went around my waist, gently holding me to him.

"Yes," he whispered in my ear again, "I can feel it."

I wasn't sure how long we stood there watching the rain in the dark or under the occasional flashes of light in the sky from the lightening. I listened to the rain and the boom of thunder, my heart racing as I leaned against Jasper and breathed in the humid, electricity filled air around us.

The moment was broken when my body began to tremble with shivers, "You're cold" Jasper whispered and stepped back, "We should not have stayed out so long." I'd rather be cold and back in his arms than warm and back in reality. "Come, Alice will be waiting for you." He held out his arm and placed his hand on the small of my back as he guided me into the house. I shivered at his touch.

In the living room, Alice was again sitting in Edward's lap. Carlisle and Esme were sitting on a love seat curled together. They all smiled over at us when we came in. I immediately felt welcomed and wanted, a part of their special family, a feeling, which only intensified when Alice bounced up and came over to me grinning. "It's awful out there so you should spend the night."

"Oh, I didn't bring anything." I hesitated, not wanting to intrude but not wanting to leave either.

"That's okay. I have all your clothes from Seattle so we have plenty to choose from for an outfit tomorrow and I have everything else you need." She insisted, "Let's call Charlie."

She tugged me over to a phone and held the cordless out. "Are you sure? I don't want to impose?" I turned to look at Carlisle and Esme.

"You are welcome to stay Bella." Carlisle told me warmly.

"Yes, please stay." Esme smiled over at me.

"Of course she's staying." Alice insisted pushing the phone into my hand.

I laughed and nodded, "Thanks. I'd love to." I dialed Charlie. "Hey Dad."

"Hey Bells. Everything ok? You and Alice didn't get stuck out somewhere in this did you? Lots of accidents in these storms."

"No, um, we didn't go out. I'm still at the Cullen's."

"Well maybe you should stay there until it passes."

"That's why I'm calling. Alice asked me to spend the night."

"That was nice of them. Carlisle is a good man, I'm sure as a surgeon he's seen plenty of victims of people driving out in this. You make sure to thank him for having you and you girls have a good night. I'm working late tonight anyways and if the storm lets up it will be good fishing in the morning so I wont see you until tomorrow night."

"Sure. I'll see you when you get back."

"Ok. Have fun."

"Yeah. Thanks Dad. Night."

I turned back to the Cullen's; Alice was already bouncing. "I've never had a real sleepover before. This will be great." She squealed. "We are going to watch movies and I'll make hot cocoa and we can talk about boys and shoes." She jumped up and down grabbing my hand and pulling me back to the living room. Carlisle and Esme were chuckling at her and Edward was smiling indulgently but I could see worry in his eyes and wondered at it. "Sit here with Jasper and I'll put in the movie." She pushed me onto the couch and danced over to the TV to put in a DVD. She curled up in the chair with Edward again and started the movie. "It's a scary one. You have to watch a scary movie on a sleepover when there is a storm involved." She told me happily.

"Says who?" Edward teased.

"Me!" She told him kissing him lightly, "Right Bella."

I laughed, "Of course we do Alice." I shifted on the couch, slipping off the red flats and curling my feet under me. As the movie started, I felt a blanket fall over me and turned to smile at Jasper, "Thank you." I whispered. He nodded and smiled back before turning to the screen. I couldn't seem to look away from him. In the dim glow of the screen, I examined his strong, sharp features. He was lean but not thin, his jaw was sharp, his nose straight and his lips were full. Jasper was sexy. All the Cullen's were beautiful but there was something different about Jasper, an edge of something, I don't know, wild, maybe. I rolled my eyes at myself and went back to looking at his lips, I wondered what they would taste like, what they would feel like on my skin. I saw his Adams apple move as he swallowed and turned to look at me, his mouth quirked up on one side in a sort of smile. I flushed and turned to watch the movie, forcing myself to keep my eyes and attention on the screen even when I felt his eyes studying me.

When it was over I was grateful, Alice had definitely picked a scary movie.

"What should we watch next?" Alice asked bounding up to change the DVD.

"Let's watch another scary one. I missed half of that one." I startled at Emmett's booming voice. I hadn't noticed him and Rosalie return. They were curled up together, both of their hair wet and in fresh clothes.

"Ok." Alice flicked a new DVD into the player and went back to her seat. The one she chose this time was definitely scary. I almost jumped out of my skin when Jaspers hand moved to rest on my feet and he was holding in a laugh when I turned to look at him. He gave my ankle a gentle squeeze and I was grateful for the distraction. I smiled at him and turned back to the movie. His hand stayed on my leg and I felt calmer through out the rest of the film, well except that my heart was beating a little to fast and every molecule of my being was centered on the spot his hand was resting.

At the end of the movie Alice jumped up and came over to the couch, "Come on, we'll talk boys and shoes now." She pulled me to my feet while I laughed. I was surprised to see Rosalie follow us up to Alice's room.

"Let's talk shoes first." Alice decreed sitting cross legged on her bed, "Please let me buy you those cute heals we saw. They will be perfect for the dress I found you for prom."

"They are cute but one I am not going to prom and two I would fall and break my neck in them."

"Not going to prom?" Alice squealed, "You have to go!"

"No." I shook my head, "Dancing, like heals, is bad for the vertically challenged."

"Vertically challenged?" Rosalie asked from where she sat at Alice's vanity.

"I'm kind of a klutz if you hadn't noticed."

"You're referring to your uncanny ability to trip over nothing in the school hallways." She returned.

"Yes." I nodded, smiling, "And that is a flat, dry surface in flat shoes while walking. High heals and dancing are two separate disasters waiting to happen, put them together and I might not only hurt myself but people around me."

Rosalie and Alice both laughed and for a moment, I was stunned by Rosalie's beauty. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen on a normal day but when she laughed she lit up.

"Fine, no heals." Alice conceded still laughing.

I grinned at her, "Thank you." I was also grateful that while they were laughing at me it was all in good fun and not to be cruel, even Rosalie who didn't seem to like me.

"So boys." Alice clapped her hands.

"You and my brother seemed very close downstairs." Rosalie added.

I blushed knowing now why she had come up with us, no doubt to remind me that I was not good enough for him, no where near pretty enough. With a sister like Rosalie and adoptive sister like Alice, I was very plain in comparison. I mean, I didn't have bad self-esteem or anything, I thought I was cute enough but nothing like them. Jasper was sexy. He'd be with a beautiful girl, or maybe he had a girlfriend back home, a friend of Rosalie. I mean they moved here less than a year ago, maybe that was why he showed no interest in girls at school.

"Bella?" Alice half sang dragging my attention back to them from where I had lost it in thought.

"Sorry." I blushed again.

"So Jazz?" Rosalie pushed.

"He's very nice. Your whole family is."

Rosalie snorted, "Yeah right. So you don't like Jazz then?"

I blushed again because I really thought I did. Stupid because he wouldn't be into a girl like me but I couldn't help but be attracted to him. He was smart and sweet and the short amount of time I had spent with him only made me want to spend more. I wanted to stand and watch storms with him and listen to his honey voice speak for hours.

"Obviously she does." Alice laughed.

I blushed again. "I don't really know him. We only spoke for a minute outside."

"You were out there over an hour." Alice informed me smugly.

"An hour?" Had we been standing there so long?

"Yup." She nodded. "Almost an hour and a half and it would have been longer if you hadn't been cold."

"So you do like him?" Rosalie still pushed.

"Look, you don't have to worry ok. Neither does who ever he is dating from wherever you guys came from. I ran into him on the porch and we talked. I guess we both like storms because we got caught up watching it that's all." I told her defensively.

"Why would I worry?" She asked.

I blushed, of course she wouldn't worry, she was his twin, I didn't need to tell her he would never be interested in me.

"Who told you he had a girlfriend some where else?" Alice demanded.

"No one." I shrugged blushing brighter, "I just figured since he wasn't interested in any of the girls at school…" I let my voice taper off.

"Who said he wasn't interested in any of the girls at school?" Rosalie asked.

I shrugged, "Just gossip really. Your family sticks to themselves especially Jasper. If Jasper were interested in a girl Jessica wouldn't stop talking about it. Besides, if he were then why wouldn't he be dating her? He's gorgeous and nice. He could have any girl."

"I knew you liked him." Alice bounced on the bed. "This is great, you're already my best friend. You and Jazz will start dating and you'll be my sister too."

I blushed and glanced at Rosalie to see her reaction, "I'm not dating your brother." I told them shyly.

"Why not?" Alice demanded her excited bouncing stopping immediately and her delicate features marred with a frown.

"Because…" She held up her hand to cut me off.

After a moment she looked back at me, "No, nothing has changed. You'll still be together. Why would you say you wouldn't?"

I frowned at her in confusion, "What do you mean nothing has changed?"

There was a knock at the door.

"Go away Edward." Alice called still looking at me and demanded, "Explain please."

I sighed exasperated, "Explain what?"

"Why you're not dating my brother" Rosalie supplied.

"We just met." I told her.

"Weeks ago." Alice said in a voice that said that was supposed to be a long time.

"Our first conversation was a couple hours ago and no where in it did he ask me out. Thus I am not dating him."

"Oh," Alice laughed waving her hand, "Details." She went back to being excited, "So now that you are going to be my sister we can talk about everything. Not that we couldn't as best friends but now everything is set and Rosalie will get over herself and get to know you for Jazz and you'll be best friends too. We should just start now since it will happen anyways." She sang, "Let's start by dishing about relationships."

I couldn't help but laugh at her, " Nothing is set Alice and anything can happen in the future." I turned to face Rosalie, "Not that I wouldn't like us to be friends because I would but you don't have to be friends with me if you don't want. I am not dating your brother. I doubt I ever will be and you don't have to force yourself to be around me if you don't want to be." I informed her blushing the entire time.

"You do that a lot." She told me.

"What?"

"Blush." Which only made me blush again, "See." She pointed out.

"Wait go back to the not ever part!" Alice demanded, before holding up her hand, "Wait." She shook her head after a second as though to clear it, "No, everything is still on track. I don't get it."

"What is on track Alice?"

"You and Jazz." She informed me exasperatedly.

I frowned entirely lost at the conversation. "What are you talking about?"

I heard laughter coming from another area of the house and Alice glared at the door annoyed when there was a knock, "Go away Jazz! This is girl time!"

"Alice." He said her name low and patient.

"No." She stuck her tongue out at the door.

"Alice," Rosalie began but Alice cut her off by holding up her hand and concentrating on nothing again.

She sighed, "Not how I would plan things but it makes it all so much easier."

"What?" I asked.

Rosalie was glaring at her, "Alice." Her voice came out low and threatening.

"Alice." Two male voices came from the other side of the door, Jasper and Edward.

"Can't you two trust me?" She demanded of the door. "Esme and Carlisle do."

"Alice." Jasper seemed to growl, "No."

"Fine!" She half shouted crossing her arms.

"What?" I looked from her to the still closed door to Rosalie and back to Alice. "Someone tell me what's going on."

Alice bounced up at the same time Edward growled, "Rosalie."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at her sister before she turned to me and blurted, "We're vampires."

At that, I just stared at her.

"Bella?" Alice asked quietly.

I couldn't believe my mind was actually considering the possibility even as I felt hurt that she would make fun of me like that. "Vampires?" I questioned doubtfully.

"Yup." She nodded. "Carlisle changed us, well all of us but Jazz and Alice, they came to the family later. Jasper and I are obviously not twins, we just pretend to be sometimes when we move to a new place. Some of us are gifted to. That's why Alice is so weird." Alice stuck her tongue out at her sister as Rosalie continued, "She can see the future. We don't bet against her so if she says you end up with Jazz then you do."

"Vampires." I repeated.

"Yes." She confirmed again while Alice nodded.

"It's ok if you don't believe us but just think about it. I know you noticed that I don't eat." Alice told me, "Also my skin is really cold and hard like granite."

"Our eyes." Rosalie added.

"Right." Alice agreed nodding. "All our eyes are golden because we are vegetarian. Normal vamps have red ones. You must have noticed that mine are darker some days."

I nodded, I noticed that sometimes they seemed almost black and others a bright gold.

"We are also super fast." Rosalie said and though I was looking right at her, it was like she disappeared and reappeared on the bed next to Alice.

"And strong." Alice told me reaching onto her nightstand and snapping the metal handle of the drawer in two.

"Vegetarian?" I asked, my mind still spinning.

"We don't eat people." Rosalie supplied.

"We don't eat at all." Alice interrupted, "We do drink blood but only of animals."

"Ok, so you're vampires. Why tell me?"

"You're my best friend and soon you'll be my sister. Jasper is going to love you. He was always going to love you I just didn't know it was you right away. Now I'm sure. You'll be very happy. I told you, everything is going to work out. It's going a little faster then it was meant to because Jazz is so careful and would be very slow but I didn't want to wait and I saw that my interference wouldn't wreck it. You also will be ready to go downstairs after this and Emmett will give you a hug and carry you outside for a proper illustration of our strength so I'd put on a sweater. Here, take off the white shirt but leave on the red lace trim tank, I'll get you a sweater." She jumped off the bed and came back with a cream sweater. "He'll leave you on the porch so you don't get wet."

I did as she said, taking off the shirt and pulling on the soft, warm v-neck sweater.

"Are you alright Bella? Are you ready to go down or do you need a minute?" Rosalie asked kindly.

I nodded, "I'm ok."

"Come on then." I followed Alice out of her room and down the stairs. Carlisle and Esme were waiting at the bottom and Esme immediately drew me into a hug, her movement, almost to fast for me to register startled me and I didn't return it.

She hurriedly stepped back to Carlisle her hands behind her back, "Sorry." She murmured looking away her expression hurt.

I stepped towards her and hugged her, her arms instantly wrapping around me again. "Just not used to the whole extra speed thing" I told her and felt her arms tighten a tiny bit before she stepped back with a smile.

"Are you hungry?" I looked up recipes online. I still have some grilled chicken from lunch and I found a well-rated grilled chicken fettuccini recipe for your supper.

I blushed, "Oh you don't have to trouble yourself, I can make my own food."

"It's no trouble." She assured me, "I rather enjoyed making lunch."

"Bella." Carlisle nodded when I turned to look at him.

"Carlisle." I smiled back at him before frowning.

"What is it?" Esme asked kindly while Alice giggled.

I blushed knowing she had seen my question already. "Nothing."

"Please." Carlisle encouraged.

I blushed again, "I was just wondering how you could work in a hospital with all that blood. Doesn't it make you hungry or thirsty or whatever?"

Rosalie snickered, "Daddy Cullen is special." She informed me. "He's why we are vegetarians. He changed us and taught us there was another way to becoming murderers."

I nodded as though it made perfect sense. To me, it sort of did, Carlisle struck me as a good man.

"Come on then." Alice bounced past me into Edward's arms, "I told you it would be fine." She told him kissing him lightly.

"I never doubted you." He told her smiling lovingly at her.

I followed her over only to be swept up in Emmett's arms as he laughed. I squealed in surprise even though Alice had warned me. He just laughed and carried me outside before carefully setting me on the ground.

"Now you get to see the real us." He laughed running out into the rain soaked yard. I watched as he lifted up my truck and spun it around so it was facing out towards the road instead of to the house. He moved over to a tree and ripped it in half before crumbling a piece off a boulder.

"Come wrestle with me Eddie." He laughed.

I watched as Edward went out and the two began to fight.

"No cheating." Emmett called as Edward spun away and then kicked him in the side. The sound louder than the thunder had been.

Edward laughed, "It's not cheating, I can't turn it off."

"Turn what off?" I asked Rosalie.

"Edward can read minds." Alice told me and I flushed crimson. Had I thought anything embarrassing around him? I was sure I had. He would definitely have heard the thoughts I had when I was watching Jasper instead of the movie earlier.

"All except yours." Carlisle informed me. "It's very surprising."

"I've tried." Edward said coming up to us. "I've never had to try before but no matter how much I focus I hear nothing from you."

I frowned at him, "So I'm a freak?"

He laughed, "I can read minds, Alice sees the future and you are concerned that you are the freak?"

I bit my lip and he stopped laughing, "Bella, you are special."

"Gifted, I would guess." Carlisle added, "We wouldn't know for sure unless Eleazar came down. Oh, Eleazar is the patriarch of a family much like ours. They are good friends. His gift is to see the gifts of others, both vampire and human alike." He informed me.

Vampires, gifts, it was all a little much for me.

"Let's not overwhelm her." Alice cut in. "Esme is almost done your dinner. We'll eat, well, you'll eat." She laughed, "Then we can talk some more. We don't have to have any secrets now." She told me bouncing.

I went in and ate the delicious meal Esme had prepared while the other vampires sat around the table and watched, making small talk. I couldn't help but noticed that Jasper was missing.

As I went to clean up Alice took my plate and had everything done before I could get halfway across the kitchen.

She led me up the stairs and handed me a pair of sleep pants and a fitted tank before showing me to the bathroom where she had everything I needed waiting.

I used the toilet, brushed my teeth and washed my face before slipping into the nightclothes and going back to Alice's room.

"Are you ok?" Rosalie asked, coming out of another room while I was in the hall.

I nodded, "I feel a little like it's a dream but I'm fine."

"You're not afraid."

"No." I shook my head. "Why would I be?"

"We are soulless demons who drink blood." Edward informed me, stepping out of Alice's room to join the conversation.

"No you aren't." I immediately disagreed shaking my head. "You love. I can see that in your eyes when you look at Alice, its in all of your eyes when you look at your partner or each other. Soulless creatures aren't capable of love." I informed him, like I was an authority on the matter. The odd thing was he actually looked contemplative, like I had made a very valid point.

"We still drink blood and the only one of us who hasn't killed is Carlisle." Rosalie informed me.

"We all slip sometimes." Emmett came out behind Rose, "Except Carlisle, he's never killed and Rosie, she's never tasted human blood."

I noted the distinction but didn't ask; it wasn't my place to pry. "Just because you gave in to your nature doesn't mean you are soulless. You try to live a better life. You fight instincts to kill people because you have a conscious and a soul. You are good people, human or not."

I was surprised when Alice hugged me. "I'm glad you aren't afraid of us. I knew you wouldn't be but I'm still glad." She led me into her room as Rosalie and Emmett disappeared back into theirs. I wasn't sure where Edward had gone. "Thank you." She whispered once we were lying on her bed.

"For what?"

"I've said it before. So has Carlisle but I think coming from a human and said in the words you used Edward might actually believe it possible."

"What?"

"That we aren't soulless."

"How could you be soulless Alice? You are one of the best people I've ever met. Your whole family is wonderful, like I always imagined a real family would be like."

"What do you mean?"

"My parents divorced when I was two. My mother is really flighty and I learned fast how to take care of myself and her or she'd forget to grocery shop or pay the bills. She was always losing things, keys, papers, everything. She focused on fun and not responsibility. A lot of the time I felt like I was the mother. Charlie is really responsible, he works hard and all that but I never really knew him. I know he loves me but we never spent that much time together. We don't have much in common but at the same time we are a lot alike, both pretty private and quiet people. I always wanted siblings but Charlie never remarried and Renee only just did this year. I wanted an older brother to look out for me, a sister to be my friend and talk to." I shrugged. "I guess I wanted the families on television. Where kids got grounded for skipping school or doing something reckless and had friends. I never really fit in. Renee was the one who would encourage me to miss a day or two of school to go try some new crazy fad. She was my best friend but I wanted a mother. I miss her but since I moved here she has moved on and I wouldn't want things to go back the way they were. I love Charlie but we've never been close and this is short-term until I graduate. I'm not sure what I want or where I belong now."

"Here Bella. You belong here with us. Trust me. I see it. You're the missing piece of our family and the missing piece of Jasper. The future is beautiful."

I smiled at her. "I'm nothing special."

"You are to us." She smiled back. "Try to sleep now." She began to hum quietly and I drifted to sleep.

When I woke up the room was still mostly dark but I could see the cloudy skies begin to light. I tiptoed out of Alice's room to the bathroom.

When I came out, I was surprised to see Jasper in the hall. "Sorry, did I wake you?" It was a dumb question since he looked freshly showered and dressed.

"No." He sent me a small smile and I felt my nerves relax, "We don't sleep."

"At all?"

"No." He confirmed, "Not at all."

"Wait." I shook my head, "That wasn't a dream. You, you're a…" I felt weird saying the name.

"Vampire." He confirmed. "You aren't going to freak out now are you?" He looked concerned.

I laughed, "No, Jazz. I won't freak out now." He had a funny look on his face and I blushed when his eyes raked over my body in the tiny shorts and tight tank.

"Where is Alice?"

"She went hunting. She'll be back in a little while."

"Oh, ok. Is it ok if I shower?"

"Of course." He sent me a small smile, "There are towels in the closet behind the door."

"Thanks, I'll just, um, get clothes."

He nodded and disappeared. I went back into Alice's room and found clothes and a note I hadn't seen previously.

_Put this on. Go to the top floor door on the right. I'm hunting with Edward. Don't leave. Rose will need to look at your truck before you do or something happens to the engine half way home. Charlie won't be back from fishing until supper anyways. You'll be home in plenty time to make him dinner, you're making enchiladas. He'll like them. Have a good morning with Jazz. I'll see you later. X Ali_

I rolled my eyes and took the outfit without looking at it before going to the bathroom to shower and change. I ran my fingers through my wavy hair deciding to let it dry naturally and pulled on the panties and bra Alice had left me. It was a pair of black lace she had chosen while we were shopping. She had chosen a pair of skinny torn light blue jeans with a plain white tank and a red, black and white plaid shirt, which I buttoned halfway. I went back to her room and folded my pajamas leaving them on the foot of the bed, which I carefully made so it looked as perfect as when I had first come in her room the day before. I slipped on the red ballet flats I had worn the day before and that had been left on the floor next to the chair with my clothes on it and double-checked the note before going upstairs to see what else Alice had left me.

I went up the stairs to the top floor and gently knocked on the door while pushing it open.

"Hello Bella." Jasper was instantly standing in front of me. "Did you need something?"

I blushed, "Sorry, I had a note from Alice telling me to come to this room."

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth even as he rolled his eyes, "My sister is ever the meddler."

"Sorry?"

"This is my room."

"I'm so sorry." I blushed again.

"Don't be." He shrugged. "Please come in. I'm sure Alice will return soon."

I shook my head, "I don't want to disturb you; I can amuse myself until she gets back."

"Please, don't feel nervous. I will not hurt you. I fed while you were asleep."

"Is that why your eyes are so much brighter?" I asked following him into the room.

"Yes." He nodded. "The darker our eyes the greater our hunger, or anger, or lust." I blushed, "That is beautiful but very tempting for a vampire." He told me making me blush more.

"Sorry." I looked away.

"Why do you feel embarrassed?"

I shrugged, my attention on his room. "You don't have a bed." I observed.

"I don't sleep."

"Right." He'd already told me that, "but Alice has a bed."

"A bed can often be used for other things."

"Right." I blushed as I thought about why someone who didn't sleep would have a bed. "Ew." I pushed away the mental image.

"What?"

"I slept there last night." I told him causing him to laugh.

"Alice changed the sheets before you came over. I might have guessed she saw you spending the night before mentioning it. Carlisle might have suggested you come another time and Alice was insistent on your visiting us."

"So she was planning on telling me all along?"

"No," he shook his head. "Alice's visions are subjective. They result from decisions we make. Alice always planned on you finding out, even if that wasn't exactly how. It wasn't until Rosalie made the decision to tell you that she saw the outcome. I imagine she tested options to see the best outcome of her decisions before as well."

"That's a bit confusing."

"The future is uncertain. Alice sees only the path that people are on now but many decisions can affect the outcome and so the future can change."

"Ok, that makes sense. Do you have a gift?"

He hesitated but nodded, "I am an empath."

"An empath? As in feeling other people's emotions?" I blushed, mentally cursing the things I felt when around him.

"I feel them and can manipulate them."

I thought about it before speaking, "Yesterday, during the movie." I blushed thinking of what I had been feeling while watching him, "I felt calmer after you touched me."

He nodded, "my gift is stronger with contact though it is not necessary."

"So you made me feel calmer?"

He nodded again, "I can make you feel any emotion I focus on."

"Just me? I mean, only one person."

"No, I can affect many or only some of one group. I have had many years to perfect my gift."

"How many?" I asked before realizing how rude the question was and blushing again.

"How many people?"

I shook my head still blushing, "Sorry, you don't have to answer that."

"I was changed during the civil war."

"So you've been alive for a hundred and fifty years or so?"

"One hundred and sixty three. I had just passed my twentieth birthday when I was changed, though I had lied when I joined the confederate army so they believed me to be two years older. I was still the youngest Major in American military history, even with the added years. I still am the youngest on record."

"What was it like back then?"

"Come and sit." He motioned to the chairs by the giant stone fireplace and I went to sit with him looking around the room again.

"Esme decorated it for me." He acknowledged my gaze, "I'm not much for decorating."

"I think it suits you." I told him blushing. It was true. The chairs were supple brown leather, the furniture and floors all natural woods, the low ceilings showed the natural beams and the walls were a deep forest green where they were not filled with bookshelves. He had a massive desk looking out the windows and his wall of windows looked out over the woods.

"Thank you. Esme always does a wonderful job. She knows me well."

"Will you tell me about them? How you all ended up together?"

He nodded, "I can tell you some but each of our stories is our own to tell." He told me how Carlisle was changed and how he brought the family together, how he found Edward and then some years later Esme followed by Rosalie and then Emmett. All of them dying, Edward of the plague, Esme had fallen from a cliff and Emmett a bear attack. Then he told me how he had found Alice waiting for him in a diner and she had brought them both to Carlisle. Alice, he told me remembered nothing of her past. She did her best to follow Carlisle's ways after seeing it in a vision, waiting for Jasper to show up, as she knew she was meant to, before going to find the Cullen family. He told me how she had saved him. How the emotions of his victims were tearing him apart each time he fed and how the Cullen's had helped heal that. I asked more about his past and with some hesitation he told me about joining the army when he was sixteen, about what he could remember about the war and his family.

He had been sixteen and gone off to war to fight for his land and for honor. Even as his cousin went to fight for the Yankees, disagreeing that the war was about land and taking the side of the North against slavery. Jasper didn't believe in slavery, his family was not rich but wealthy enough for a couple but his father refused to have anything but free men working on the ranch for room and board and the little pay they could offer. To them it had been about the land and about honor. I had never thought of the Confederate side from that perspective before. I had only seen it as a fight against slavery. He told me about the horrors of the war with to few supplies or medical aid. He held nothing back and when it came to the point of his change, he told me about Maria and the Southern Wars. He told me about the only vampire to become his friend in the slaughter that was life there, about how he had helped this Peter escape with his mate and how Peter had returned to get him away a year later. Life was better for him away from the blood, death and destruction of Maria's pointless wars but still the death, the pain and terror of his victim's ate at his soul until he found Alice and she brought him here.

I cried for him and in the silence that fell between us I could think of nothing but the desire to hold him and so I did. I got up from my chair and dropped to my knees in front of his chair, resting my head in his lap and holding his legs I cried for him, "I'm so sorry Jasper, for everything you suffered, I'm so sorry." After only a minute or two, he shifted and arms wrapped around me to lift me in his lap. I curled into him, burying my face in his neck and breathing in his pine, gunpowder and leather scent. "I'm so sorry." I repeated, whispering into his neck as my tears finally began to dry.

He was rubbing my back soothingly. "Don't be sad little one. Please. I am the evil one in this story, in this family. I have killed more people than you can imagine, vampires and humans; so many innocents, I took their lives without thought for decades. I don't deserve your tears."

I sat back and met his darkened eyes, "You do though." I brought my hand to his cheek, "Don't you see, you're stronger than them. Carlisle fought what he was from the beginning; he's never even tasted human blood except to change the others, never to drink. He's strong and good and someone so amazing I can't put it into words but you are stronger. You were born into this life in a world of nothing but hatred, blood and death but you showed mercy and love. You set Peter and Charlotte free. When you learned there was a different way you ran with Peter and when Alice told you of still another life, one where you didn't have to kill, you took that chance to. Everyday you fight your nature; all of you do, but only you know what the darker side of that nature can really be like. You amaze me." I told him honestly, fresh tears washing down my cheeks. I felt his arms tighten around me as he drew me back into his body.

"You are the amazing one little one. Here you sit with a killer and cry for him."

"I cry for a boy who went to war for honor and family, one who was brave and good and suffered through hell for decades. You didn't deserve that Jazz."

"It's over now. I am out of that life. Still I struggle with this one, with staying to this diet and I have slipped and killed much more than the others. It is harder for me than them. I hate that my control is so weak."

"You are the only one who really lived with anything else. Even if the others slipped, you lived decades that way, almost a century. I bet they struggle sometimes and that would only make it harder for you, feeling their blood lust on top of your own. Your gift makes it so hard for you. You are so strong Jazz, so good." I snuggled into him and we sat in a comfortable silence until I could feel myself begin to drift off in his cold embrace.

I woke up as I was being moved, "Sh, it's alright Bella. Sleep." I heard him murmur and snuggled closer to him, breathing him in.

I felt myself lowered to a sofa a moment later and muttered a protest before drifting off again. I woke fully to the smell of eggs and toast what seemed like seconds later. I stretched as I got up, finding myself having been moved to the living room and went into the kitchen, my stomach grumbling.

Esme was setting a plate on the counter next to a stool and sent me a warm smile, "I was just going to wake you up."

"What happened in here?" I asked looking around.

"Jasper tried to make you lunch, you skipped breakfast talking with him and he could hear your stomach was empty."

I blushed. "He tried?"

"Jasper was from a time when men didn't cook much and it was not his duty in the army, even if it had been he has been a vampire a very long time. The experiment did not go well." She laughed.

"It was sweet of him to try. I can fend for myself. You don't need to bother yourself with it either."

"I rather enjoy it. I like taking care of my children. It is my greatest joy in this life that they allow me to mother them, though both Jasper and Edward have been in this world longer than I. Jasper by several decades."

"What did you do before you were changed?"

"I was a wife and for a very brief moment, a mother."

"You had a child when you fell? What happened to him? Or her."

"It was a son and he died. Jasper is sweet to edit such a thing. The truth is I did not fall from that cliff. I jumped."

"You jumped?"

"I was married to an abusive man my father had arranged for me to marry to pay his debts, we hade been married for almost six years and I had already had three miscarriages. My son was only a few days old when he died. It was a life I could not abide living in any longer. I was weak and desperate, alone and depressed. I went out for a walk near the cliffs and just, decided it was the only way. Carlisle found me, broken and bleeding, he carried me home and bit me. Three days later I woke up to this life."

"Were you angry with him?"

"No." She shook her head. "I was desperate for a way out but I didn't particularly want to die, it was just the only option I felt I had at the time. Carlisle brought me into this life and showed me what love was. He is patient and kind, and more than I could ever have dreamed in a mate. With him, I also gained a son in Edward and then a daughter in Rosalie. I had never been so happy or content. I wished for my children only that they could know the love I did with Carlisle. Rosalie found that first with Emmett. She was barely out of her newborn year when she found Emmett, near death and bleeding heavily but she held her breath and carried him for miles to Carlisle. I knew then he had to be her mate for her to have so much control or for her to even ask it of Carlisle."

"Why?"

"Rosalie did not ask for this life and for a long time she wished Carlisle had just let her die. Emmett has changed that for her. She still would not ask for this life but she does not regret being given it and she is happy."

"Alice came with Jasper then."

"Yes." Esme nodded. "My first son finally found his mate with her. He has never regretted this life or been angry that Carlisle changed him but he was always lonely and a bit distant until Alice came to us. My second daughter brought much light and laughter with her. She also brought with her my third son and the one I am most proud of." At my questioning look she continued, "Jasper, as he has told you, struggles with our way of life. He is haunted by his past but he is a better man than he gives himself credit for. He is hardest on himself when he slips but we all understand, it can be difficult for us but it is more so for him, especially with our own blood lust adding to his. He persists with the battle to be a better man, to be strong and good. He helps to keep our family safe and protected. He is our strength as Carlisle is our anchor."

"And you our heart." Carlisle spoke from the door, coming into the kitchen to kiss his wife before turning to me, "Thank you for your words to Jasper, your open acceptance of us and warmth amazes all of us."

I blushed, "I only said the truth." I told him, looking at my plate.

"Yes." He agreed. "Esme, I need to go into the hospital one of the other surgeons needs a consult."

"Alright." She leaned up and kissed him. "I'm going to shop online for a new coffee table so Emmett can replace the one he's broken."

"Better add a new door for the garage. Rosalie broke it when she slammed it during an argument with Emmett and it will not close properly."

"Of course." Esme sighed before turning to me, "Those two are forever breaking my doors slamming them as hard as they do." I finished eating and cleaned up before checking the time to see it was after one. "Alice said to remind you after lunch that you couldn't leave until Rosalie fixed your truck." Esme told me with a smile.

"Right. Thanks. I'd hate to get stuck on the side of the road."

"I'll be in my office, it's next to Carlisle's study on the second floor if you need anything. Of course I'll hear you if you call from anywhere in the house so you don't have to come looking for me either."

"I'll be fine, thank you Esme." I went up to the third floor where Alice's room was and used the bathroom for human moments before wandering back downstairs. I didn't want to bother Jasper again in case he wanted some privacy so I was grateful I had brought my novel for English class and took it to go sit on the porch swing. My plan not to intrude on Jasper again was instantly broken when I saw him sitting there just as he had been the previous day. "Sorry. I was just going to read until Alice got back." I blushed.

"What are you reading?"

"Pride and Prejudice for English class. I've read it before but I thought I'd refresh."

"Do you like Jane Austen?"

"Yes. She's one of my favorite authors."

"You enjoy the classics?"

"Some. I like Jane Austen, Thomas Hardy, Charles Dickens, and Shakespeare of course. Do you?"

"Sometimes. I prefer history to fiction but of them I'd say I enjoy Shakespeare most but that would be to watch on stage more than read."

"I figure a lot of history is fiction and a lot of fiction is history. I mean, a lot of a writer goes into what they write even if the actual story isn't true. They can still say something about the times and I bet lots of history books get things they claim are fact wrong. It's also a lot of politics and I like the stories about how people actually lived."

"That is very true." Jasper agreed.

"Will you tell me more about the past?"

"Which decade?" He laughed, "There are a few in the middle I know very little of for obvious reasons but the last fifty or so I am good on and of course there is the time from when I was human but those memories as I have said as somewhat blurred."

I didn't want to bring up too much of the past as his eyes were still haunted with it. "Just about how things have changed in the last few decades, do you always go to high school? Has that changed much?"

"No on both questions." He motioned me to the swing next to him and I settled in turning partly to face him. "Sometimes I go to college which I enjoy more, other times I work though not often and sometimes we live in areas where it is remote enough not to have to pretend to be human at all."

"What is that like?"

"Relaxing, sometimes boring, sometimes exciting. It depends on the time and who I'm with. I enjoy the quiet and the peace. It makes things easier when there are no people around but it can be boring. I enjoy the distractions of living like a human."

"What did you study in college?"

"Over the years I've studied, history, politics, literature, anthropology, archeology, law, engineering, astronomy and languages."

"Do you speak any other languages?"

"Not as many as Carlisle but I can speak French, Spanish, German and Italian fluently."

"What was your favorite thing to study?"

"History and structural engineering. I liked learning how to build a house. What will you study?"

"I don't know. I'd like to study English and History but I don't know what I would do with it. I don't know what I'd want to do."

"You mentioned travelling."

"Yes, I'd like to see some of the places I've read about maybe work at a few different things and decide what I might like before I go to college."

"Where would you go first?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I guess I'd see more of the US; I've only ever been to Washington, California and Arizona. I'd like to see the Northern Lights in Alaska and the Empire State building in New York. I'd really love to go to Europe though. To see the Globe Theater and go to Jane Austen's house in Bath, to see the ancient temples in Greece, the Trevi fountain in Rome, the Eiffel tower and Grand Opera House in Paris. Everywhere really." I finished lamely with a shrug. "I'd have to save up and all my savings are going to college so that I can get a good job and be able to afford to see all these places. I just have no idea what I would want to work as."

We talked for a little while longer, Jasper was very easy to talk to and before I knew it Alice and the others were standing with us on the porch. I hadn't seen them approach. Alice was bouncing with happiness, Rosalie looked upset, Emmett was grinning and Edward looked, conflicted.

"What's going on?" I asked standing.

"Nothing." Alice sang, "Everything is perfect."

Rosalie snorted, "This is so wrong." She glared at Alice and then Jasper and I before going into the house.

"Ignore her." Alice told me. "Come on and you can tell me all about your morning with Jasper before you have to go make Charlie his dinner and finish your homework, you forgot the calculus problems on Friday."

"Shit." I cursed lowly before blushing remembering that they could all easily hear me, "Sorry." I mumbled.

"Come on." Alice tugged me upstairs.

"Alice, didn't you already see me talk to him? Isn't that why you disappeared all day?"

"Of course but now I want to hear it. I see things but I don't know what you felt or thought, those are Jasper and Edwards gifts and Jazz won't share and Edward can't read your mind."

"As if you couldn't get it out of him. You could get a bone from a starving dog."

Her tinkling laughter was my only answer.

"Coming in Rosalie?" Alice called as we passed her closed door.

I heard the door open and a sigh but Rosalie followed us into Alice's room. "Obviously Alice's brilliant plan worked and things are great with you and Jasper."

I blushed, "He was very nice to spend the time with me."

She rolled her eyes, "I don't hear him complaining."

"Why would he? He's a little overwhelmed by going over his past maybe but he is more relaxed already and will be better than normal soon."

"He went over his past?" She looked surprised from Alice to me. I nodded blushing.

"He has no secrets from Bella." Alice beamed, "Neither do I. Except my human life but that is a secret from me too." She laughed. "Esme talked to you to. I saw that after she decided to rescue her kitchen from being burned down by Jazz and you from his awful cooking, it was sweet of you to pretend it wasn't that awful, even I could see from its look and your face it was." At my confused look, she tapped her head. "I saw it when he decided you needed to eat when you woke up and went about attempting to cook something. Then I saw Esme step in and your conversation with her. Edward was dying and his mother asked Carlisle to save him however possible and Rose saved Emmett after a bear attack. Carlisle and Rose can tell you their own stories but you know the basics of how we became a family and now you've come to us too."

"She's not yet." Rosalie growled.

Alice just waved her hand at Rosalie, "So, how do you feel about the Jazz conversation today and the Esme one."

"How can you just dismiss this like that? It's her life."

"I know that Rosalie." Alice hissed. "It's also our family and our brother."

Rosalie looked like she had been slapped. "It's wrong. I'd do anything for our family but it's wrong." She looked close to tears as she got up and stormed out of the room, pausing at the door. "I'll fix your truck so you can go home Bella."

"Sorry about that." Alice told me. "I told you, just ignore her, she'll come around, I'm not sure how but she will. So tell me."

"Haven't you already seen this conversation?"

She sighed, "Yes, but I was hoping you would be a little less stubborn."

"Yet you already know I wont be."

"Fine. Go." She waved me off, "Sit with us at lunch tomorrow though."

"I will." I hugged her before following Rosalie to the garage. I made a quick stop on the second floor to knock on the door I could hear Esme in.

"Come in dear."

"Sorry to bother you Esme. I just wanted to thank you for having me over."

"Anytime Bella." She smiled warmly at me, "I look forward to having you back soon." She came over and hugged me.

I waved at Emmett as I opened the door to the garage. It was opened and Rosalie was outside, her head buried under the hood of my truck.

"Rosalie?"

"The mechanic who worked on this engine was good but some parts still need to be replaced. I can fix it enough but bring it back next week and I'll have the new parts."

"Oh, how much will those be?"

"Don't worry about it." She pulled her head out of the hood and walked over to the garage to get some tool before disappearing back under the hood. "This is a great truck, a real classic."

"Thanks," I beamed, "I love it. Charlie gave it to me when I moved down. I can pay for the parts though and your time I have some savings."

"I like working on cars, it will be great to really toy with this one, get it fixed up good. The project will be a good distraction for me, I don't need money for it."

"The parts at least." I insisted.

"I'll get what I can cheap. You can pay me for the necessary work, the extras I'll buy since you don't need them, it will just be fun for me to do." She bargained.

"Alright." I agreed.

"It's all set for now." I want to replace that belt by this weekend at the latest and do a few other tweaks. Come over Saturday. If you have plans I can lend you my Audi for the day, just don't fuck it up."

"I don't have any plans if you don't mind me hanging around while you work."

"No I don't and I'm sure by husband or sister will be thrilled to keep you amused if you grow bored while I work."

"Rosalie," I hesitated to ask why she was so upset in Alice's room.

"Rose." She interrupted, "Rosalie is a little uptight and family all call me Rose."

I blushed at the insinuation that she might consider me family or at the very least a friend, especially after the scene upstairs, "I have nothing against you so don't take this personally but you should stay away from us. We really are dangerous in more ways than you can imagine."

"Rosalie!" Alice screeched from somewhere in the house.

She turned and hissed, "Shut up Alice." Before facing me again, "I didn't ask for this life but even so my only other option was death. You have another one, a better one. Just forget you ever met us, finish school, go to college, get married, have babies and live your life."

"Why did you tell me what you are?"

She sighed, "I don't know, a selfish and weak moment maybe. Edward agrees with me. You should just stay away. We should have stayed away from you but when Edward couldn't read you we needed Alice to try to see if you were a threat, you weren't and we were going to ignore you but after she talked to you the visions she got led her to bring you into our life. It was wrong of her, wrong of all of us. You deserve more. A life none of us got."

"Rose?"

"You deserve a life Bella and with us you will find only death." With that she disappeared into the house. I got into my truck and drove home my mind full of everything I had been told over the last two days. Had it only been two days? It felt like so much longer.

I went home and made chicken enchiladas. Charlie was a little nervous when he saw them but ended up really liking them and asking for seconds. I tried to focus on my homework after that but my mind kept straying to the Cullen's.

That night I dreamt of Jasper and when I woke, I knew I couldn't take Rosalie's advice. I needed to know them. I needed to know him. I was afraid I might love him. I hadn't known him long but he had opened up to me and I could see in his eyes the man he was. It was as if they reached into my very soul and marked it as his. Still her words haunted me and I wondered if I should at least try to take her advice even if I wasn't sure I wanted to. My mind would flit back and forth between ignoring the Cullen's, a thought that sent a sharp jolt of pain through me leaving a wave of sadness behind; or to throw caution to the wind and embrace the friendship, the family they offered.

The next morning I walked to English class with Angela still unsure of the right decision. I took a seat with her and Jessica feeling Alice's sad eyes watching me. By lunchtime, I was almost sure I could listen to Rosalie. Then I walked in and saw him sitting with them. I tried not to look over as I put a sandwich and drink on my tray, I went to the register and paid for it then followed Jessica to our usual table but I couldn't resist one more look at their table. When I did look, he was watching me, his eyes met mine and halfway to the table with Jessica, I shifted directions and walked over to their table. Alice must have seen the moment my mind was made up because her sad expression morphed into happiness and she turned to face me bouncing and grinning. Rosalie looked almost sad but resigned.

Emmett jumped up and brought over a chair as Alice jumped up and hugged me, "I was worried for a minute there. I really don't like surprises."

I hugged her back and laughed, "Sorry Alice." She let me go and sat back down. I sat next to her and turned to Rosalie, "Sorry Rose." This time I was apologizing for my decision.

"Thank you for considering it but you still don't fully understand." She said sadly.

"So explain it to me."

"Rose" Alice hissed at the same time.

"No." Rose glared at her, "You want to manipulate her because of what you think is best but what if it isn't best."

"I can see it."

"You see what you want to see." Rosalie snapped.

"Someone explain." I snapped at them both.

"Not here." Edward broke in "and not now." He looked to Alice, "It's enough for now. Be happy she is your friend." Then he looked over to Rosalie, "Nothing is set in stone, just let it rest for now." Both girls nodded as he turned to me, "Rosalie and I are in agreement." He glared at Alice as she opened her mouth to speak and she closed it, "Everything will be explained but this is not the time or place for these discussions. You can come over on the weekend and talk, until then, let's all just pretend to be a normal group of teenagers please." He said the last so low I almost didn't hear.

The week went by agonizingly slow. After that Monday, I ate with the Cullen's all week. Jasper didn't show up for school again and Alice said he had gone to visit friends but would be back by the weekend. I missed him. Whatever was bothering Alice and Rose didn't come up again and I found I enjoyed Rosalie's bitchy and dry humor. Emmett made me laugh so hard it hurt. Edward and I shared tastes in music and books. Still I was closest with Alice who came over a couple times after school and made Charlie fall in love with her. Despite how slow I felt time was without Jasper I was surprised when Friday finally came and Alice announced our weekend was starting early. Charlie was going on a fishing trip, leaving Friday afternoon to Sunday night so I was going to spend both nights at the Cullen house. She came with me after school, charming Charlie as he was getting ready to go and he happily agreed to my going to stay with her not wanting me to be on my own.

Alice helped me pack an overnight bag reminding me she had almost everything I needed so all I had to bring was my homework. We were out the door only a minute behind Charlie. I let her drive us to her house since I wasn't sure about finding it again, luckily my truck only went so fast because Alice's driving scared me a little.

"I have a surprise for you." She told me excitedly dancing out of the truck at slightly faster than human pace.

I hurried into the house after her stopping to great Esme who was almost as excited as Alice and ushered me up the stairs to the forth floor to the door across from Jasper's room.

"Ta da!" Alice announced flinging open the door, "I already saw that you love it!" She was bouncing around the bedroom. One side was entirely windows, there were two doors along one wall with a vanity between them and a large bed framed by two nightstands on the other wall. All the furniture was done in dark wood, the sheets were bright white and the walls were an off white like a cup of coffee cream with a teaspoon of coffee mixed in. Beside the door, bookshelves lined the wall broken only by a section in the middle where the bookshelves framed a large square with a flat screen TV. "I already hung up all your clothes and stocked your bathroom. Esme picked out the furniture and the paint. She thought you'd like neutrals so you could add your own touch later.

"Do you like it?" Esme asked nervously beside me.

"It's beautiful." I told her. "You did this for me?" She nodded and I couldn't help the tears, "You didn't have to do that."

"Of course not. We wanted to." Alice told me coming over to tug on my hand. "Come and see. All the makeup I got you is in this drawer, in this one, you have makeup remover, cotton pads, q-tips, nail files along with tweezers and a magnifying mirror and in this drawer, I put your hair things." She showed me the dark wood mirrored vanity before pulling me over to one of the doors, "this one is your closet." She flung it open and all the clothes she had decided I needed when we went shopping in Seattle was hanging neatly. A separate place organized for each thing, belts, skirts, pants, tops, everything was neat and organized. There were also drawers for all of my delicates and sleepwear, shelves for shoes and hooks for handbags. The closet was almost a work of art though mostly empty. I was still dazed as she led me back into the room and to the other door. "This is your bathroom. Emmett upgraded it so you have a jetted whirlpool tub and waterfall shower." The tub was more than big enough for two and I was sure that the shower, which had two huge square showerheads, could fit at least four. "The part you like best, though I don't know why it's not the closet, is this." Alice said gesturing to the wall across the bed for me to take a closer look.

"Alice!" I exclaimed. The shelves were filled. Under the flat screen was a shelf with dozens of movies. Under them were two shelves of music and a stereo system. On either side of the entertainment system, the shelves were filled with books and framed photos. I walked closer to look at it all.

"Edward did the music, Emmett the television and movies, Esme and Rose did the photos, and Carlisle and Jasper did the books." Alice told me while I examined the photos through blurry eyes.

"We'll add newer ones once we have some with you." Esme spoke quietly, still standing in the doorway; "Rose and I just thought you might like some of the family over the years."

I nodded and sniffled, "I can't believe you did all of this for me." I felt two sets of cold arms envelope me in a vampire Popsicle sandwich. "Thank you so much. I love it. All of it."

The two women stepped back and I wiped at my eyes. "Let's go tell the others you like it and then we can start our homework. I want to get it all out of the way so we can play the rest of the weekend." Alice said taking my hand and pulling me down the stairs. I hugged Emmett and Rose tightly thanking them for their work on the room.

Emmett tried to get me to play Wii but Alice insisted we do our homework first and led us all to the dining room table. When I finished organizing my stuff, I saw Emmett's hand blurring across paper. Two minutes later he looked up at me and winked, "Done."

Alice rolled her eyes; "Then go play while we finish."

Rosalie winked at me and her hand blurred across the pages, a few minutes later she got up and held her hand out to me, "Keys to your truck please."

I handed them over and she laughed disappearing in a blink. Emmett laughed, "I love watching my woman tinkering in the grease." He winked at me and followed her out.

Alice rolled her eyes again and pointed to my books, "Come on. I'll work at human pace and we will both be done in forty-two minutes. Then you can ask about where Jasper is and why. He'll be home very early tomorrow morning so you will see him but that's all I'll say until we finish.

I laughed and rolled my eyes before concentrating on my homework. Luckily, it was light this weekend. When we finished, yes forty-two minutes later, I packed up my bag and followed Alice back up to 'my' room. I went straight the shelves to look at the photos.

"So, are you going to ask?"

"Don't you already know that?" I teased her.

"Bella!"

"Alright Alice." I laughed, "Why did Jasper leave?"

"He went to talk to his brother."

I frowned for a second before it clicked, "Peter?"

She nodded smiling. "Peter knows things. He doesn't see the future or anything he just knows things. I know my visions can be subjective but this is clear I don't know why he had to go see Peter. I think Rosalie and Edward were getting to him. Sometimes I want to hit my mate with a baseball bat."

"Right about what?"

"Nothing." She shrugged.

"Alice?"

"Later ok. We're all going to…" her voice faltered as her eyes went unfocused.

"Alice?" I went to the bed to sit next to her.

"Crap." She said her eyes refocusing on me. "This will not be pretty."

"What?"

"Jasper is bringing Peter and Char back with him for a visit. Fucker needs to just butt out. Then again he is on my side this time."

"This time?"

"Peter and Char aren't my biggest fans. They're happy I helped Jasper but they think I've changed him or something. I mean obviously I changed him, the guy was a mess, he had no fashion sense, ok he still has very little but he does let me influence some of his clothes, mostly because he's lazy and I shop for the whole family though. Anyways, they and I just don't mesh so well. Mostly its Edward I think. They really don't like Edward. Peter and Emmett are two peas in a pod except Peter is scary and deadly. Jasper is to but he's become so much more tame since I brought him here. Char is an odd mix of Rosalie and Esme and I don't know what. Oh well, they agree with me and that is what counts. I'm not usually on the opposite side of the vote from Edward but this time he's just being a stubborn ass. Sorry Esme." I must have given her a funny look because she grinned at me, "Vampire hearing, mom doesn't like us using bad words. So try not to curse ok."

I nodded. "So Peter and Charlotte are coming with Jasper tomorrow?"

"No," She shook her head, "Char decided she wanted to leave right away to meet you. They'll be here in a few hours. We will definitely all be talking then. Don't worry though Carlisle will be home in half an hour and he'll keep everything calm."

"So he left to talk to Peter? During a school week."

"It's not like he's worried about not graduating. Even if we didn't get straight A's without trying this is not the first time we've been to high school."

"Right." I blushed.

"He went to talk to Peter about you."

"Why?"

"You're the first person he's opened up to like he did." Esme said coming into the room, "It took him a long time to tell us everything in his past and it was never in one go like that with so many details. He mostly keeps his past hidden. We try to show him that we love and accept him and his past but he still struggles with the horror of it all."

"He's very comfortable near you." Alice said as though that explained everything. "Come on, let's get you something to eat and then we can watch a movie until everyone gets here."

"I made you something called a calzone. It's cheese and tomato sauce with slices chicken baked inside this pastry crust thing. It looks like it did in the picture but I'm not sure how it will taste."

"It smells awful but most human food does." Alice supplied.

"I also got a recipe for pancakes to try in the morning." She told me smiling. "Or would you rather French Toast? I saw a few for those as well."

"Anything you have is fine Esme, I'm not picky, honestly, you don't need to put yourself out at all."

"Oh I'm not." She assured me with a smile.

I ate the calzone, which was delicious. I was surprised that someone who didn't eat could cook so well but Esme said she just followed the directions. Her coordination and extra sensitive senses made it easy and she seemed to enjoy looking through recipes as while I ate she took out several and showed me ones she'd found to try to make. Some more elaborate than others. She also explained how she baked for the hospital nurses over the holidays as well as for a Christmas charity that fed the needy. Esme really did like taking care of people.

I went with Alice to watch a movie and saw Rosalie come in with grease on her clothes and hands as well as twigs in her hair.

Emmett followed her in without a shirt and I realized Rosalie was wearing it and blushed while he laughed. They hurried at inhuman speed up to their room. Twenty minutes later and they were sitting with us in the living room to finish watching the chick flick Alice had chosen.

After the movie ended I turned to Rosalie, "So how is my truck?"

She grinned at me, "She is so beautiful. I changed the belt but I want to replace the tensioner too, some parts are really worn. I also fixed the gearshift so it won't stick anymore. I've run some tests on the engine and fuel lines to see why she's so slow. She won't be a racer by any stretch of the imagination but she can reach a decent speed on the highway, for you anyways."

"Thanks Rosalie. How much do I owe you for the parts?"

"The new belt was thirty. That's all I had to buy."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." She shrugged, "I'd like to rebuild the transmission entirely but I'd need to keep it a couple days if you'd let me. Other than using some older parts your mechanic was good, knew what he was doing and the truck was well cared for."

"Great. Well, just let me know when you want it for a couple days and I'll find another way to school."

"We can always pick you up. Or she could do it another weekend you come to stay." Alice said.

"Yeah, I have to look for a part but then I'll let you know."

"Ok. Thanks Rose."

"Anytime." She smiled at me.

"Bella?"

I stood up and turned around, "I didn't know you were home Carlisle. How was your week?"

"Good, fairly slow really. Thank you for asking. Yours?"

"It was good." I replied with a shrug.

"Would you mind if we spoke for a moment?" He enquired.

"Of course not." I felt my stomach do acrobatics as my nerves rose. I followed him up to one of the three rooms on the second floor.

"This is my study." He said leading me in. The room was beautiful with a giant oak desk, walls of shelves and a small seating area next to the wall of windows.

"It's great. Have you read all these books?"

"I have at one time or another. Did you like your room?"

I blushed turning back to him, "Yes, it's very beautiful. I don't even know how to thank you. It's all really to much."

"Not at all. Esme and Alice enjoyed doing it and we all were happy to do our small parts as well. I'm afraid I don't know you very well but I believe you will enjoy the selection of books I chose for you."

"I'm sure they will be great. I love to read. Thank you."

He nodded, "I'm glad you approve." He nodded to a chair and came to sit across from me. As soon as I settled he spoke again and my heart began to race, "I'm sure you noticed there was some discord in the family since you joined us."

I blushed looking down at my hands, "I'm so sorry. If I can fix it I will."

"Unfortunately we are all strong minded and can be opinionated, in this we cannot seem to agree but it is not for us to agree on and have all agreed to let it be for the time. You are a welcome member of this family until you choose to leave it. I don't want you to feel that you aren't. The matter has little to do with you as person, or rather it does but our feelings on what is best for you and this family are a bit divided."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I was born a very long time ago to the son of a priest."

I nodded, "Yes, I was told it was your fathers cross that hangs in the hall."

"It was." He confirmed, "I acquired it after his death. My father was a zealous man who hunted down what he called demons, with witch trials. He went after witches and vampires with little to no proof and those he killed were certainly not vampires nor do I believe witches though the existence of witches is not something I am aware of, my being what I am I do not count much out of the realm of possibility when it comes to such things."

"No, I don't believe I could now either." I agreed.

"I was to follow in my fathers path in these hunts but I was a much more careful and prudent man. I was not so quick to accuse and my search did indeed lead me to a small coven of Vampires living underneath London. One of these vampires attacked me. He did not kill me before others chased him down. Knowing I would be beheaded if found I hid myself in a cellar under some rotten potatoes. I burned for what seemed like an eternity and I later learned was three days. I was sure I had gone to hell but the fires faded and I woke with new clarity. My mind was a thousand times vaster, my senses a thousand times more advanced. I knew instantly what I had become and sought to kill myself. It is not easy for a vampire to kill them self. I could not drown for I did not need air. Blades broke against my granite skin. I tried starvation and grew very weak but when an animal crossed to near me, my instincts took over and I attacked. I drained it and that was when I realized I did not have to be a monster. I swam across the North Sea into France. Men do it today as a test of skill and strength, for me it was easy. I wandered for a while until I came to Italy where I met a large coven of vampires. I stayed with them for many years, one of the brothers, Aro, and I shared a love of learning but we did not share the same ideals when it came to humans. I have come across many in this life; most do not share my diet. Some feed off only those they find to be evil, murderers and rapists, drug dealers and pimps. Others limit their feedings to the elderly and infirm. While some choose the blood of the innocent for its sweetness. There are also some who do not discriminate at all; they feed on men, women and children without care but for the blood. This latter was the type of this coven. The coven was ruled by three men Aro, Marcus and Caius."

He pointed to a large painting on a wall filled with paintings of different styles, sizes and colors, some portraits and others landscapes. "Are you still friends with them?" I asked examining the four men in the painting and recognizing Carlisle though he wore a very old style of clothing.

"In a way I am though it has been a long time since we have seen each other. You see this coven was the royal coven. They are the rulers of all vampire kind. They and their guard enforce the laws of our kind."

"Laws?" I asked as I moved back to the seat I had briefly vacated.

"Yes," He nodded, "The Volturi have several laws which all support the one golden rule of our kind." His eyes met mine, "We are never to expose our kind to humans."

I swallowed, "If a human knows about you?"

"The Volturi have several laws supporting this golden one though there are some ways around them. In cases such as yours, it is their law that the human must either be killed or turned. It is this that has my family so divided."

"Some of you want to kill me?" I whispered.

"No." He shook his head and smiled kindly at me, "None of us wish you dead. Well, I suppose depending how you look at it; we are dead so those who wish for your change do wish you dead in a sense but that is semantics. The choice is of course yours and we will support whatever it is."

"To die or become a vampire?"

"No. We will not kill you Bella. We will leave you to your life if you wish us to. You will grow old and have a family and die however god and nature take you."

"Or?"

"Or we can change you."

I sat in stunned silence. Why was it every time I came over here my simple ordered life was turned on its head?

"It is not a decision to be made lightly and you will have all the information about the change at your disposal. We will not lie to you about anything Bella. That is why I have told you what I have, though there are some who do not agree with my telling you of the law at all."

"What happens if they found out you told me and then left?"

"We would be punished. The Volturi give no second chances but that is our consequence and should they ever learn of this we will face them for our actions. I do not believe the Volturi will ever become involved as I trust you will not start talking about vampires or write a book about us or anything so foolish."

"No." I shook my head, still lost in thought.

"Would you like me to tell you about the change?"

I nodded numbly. Not entirely sure I wanted to know. "Ok."

"It is very painful, more so than you can possibly imagine. It is liquid fire, lava running through your veins growing ever hotter. For three days you burn while your body changes, perfecting itself, growing hard and cold. When you wake from this hell, everything is clearer and brighter, you can hear noises miles away and smell the faintest scent. Your throat burns of thirst and while it dulls there is always a scratchy sort of ache. Your eyes will be blood red as all human drinkers eyes are. Our eyes are golden because of our diets and change color after several weeks. When we are hungry, or feel anger or lust our eyes darken to black. This is true for all vampires, vegetarian and human drinkers. From the moment you wake, you will never change, never age or get sick. You can die if you are dismembered and burned but if you lose a limb, it can be fused back on you. It is painful and it takes time to recover but you will be as good as new again."

"What else?"

"You would have to die. Your heart would stop during the change and you would be different, you'd still look like you but not the same. The first year, we call the newborn year and you will be little more than a blood crazed, violent, irrational animal. For some it is worse than others but it is best to be in unpopulated areas. This stage gets better with every month that passes. You become more and more rational, returning to yourself. You would never be able to see your family or friends again though. You would have to die and become someone else." I nodded. "Bella, you do not have to make a decision now and we will respect it what ever you do decide."

"Why? Why did you tell me at all?"

"Alice talked to you the first afternoon because she thought she could get clearer visions after speaking with you. She had to be sure you would not be a threat. We have never come across someone Edward could not read before. Alice liked you very much and nothing she saw after that afternoon pointed to your being any kind of threat to our family. She wanted to talk to you again and every time she decided to, she would get a vision. She saw a future in which the two of you were best friends. Some of the things Alice sees never come to pass but when those things are bad she helps us to avoid them and when they are good she helps us to achieve them. She wants to do whatever she possibly can to ensure all of our futures are bright and happy, sometimes though she does not think about the consequences of her actions beyond that vision, she does not see that there could be another choice that could also be happy. For her it is only important that the people she loves, her family have the best future possible."

"So she just wanted me to be her friend?"

"Yes and no. Alice saw you as someone who would be very important to our family. She saw that we would all love you and that you in turn would love us. She looked past what loving us would mean for your life. It is that reason she and Rosalie are at odds. Rosalie sees only the downsides loving us will bring to your life. Alice sees only the positives for you and us. Both points are valid and you must weight both positions." I nodded, "Alice informs me that Jasper and his guests will be arriving soon. We will all talk more then. If you would like some time to yourself to think or perhaps rest a little we will give you the space to do so."

"Thank you." I nodded, "I think I'll just go to my room until they get here."

He nodded, "I am sorry Bella. All of this is coming at you very quickly. I know it is very overwhelming."

"I imagine the information is coming a lot slower for me than the others."

He smiled, "Yes, it is."

I went up to my room and straight to the bathroom. I stripped my clothes and got into the decadent shower. Slowly I washed and conditioned my hair, shaved my legs and armpits, lathered up the body wash and washed. Then I washed my face and just stood under the spray for a few minutes before I had stalled enough and got out. I brushed my teeth and hair before going through the door I found connecting the bathroom and closet.

Knowing I would be going back down to talk more to the others, I wanted to be properly dressed but I also wanted to be comfortable. I found a pair of black leggings. I pulled on a long slate gray sweater and pushed the sleeves up to my elbows then slipped on the slate gray ballet flats. I went out the closet door into my room and curled up on my bed. Only a few minutes had passed when a quiet knock was on my door.

"Come in."

Rosalie pushed open the door, "How are you?"

"Fine." I told her, not sitting up.

"You know everyone's story but mine." She said coming in. "I wanted to tell you it if you'd like to hear.

I sat up and nodded, "Of course I would."

She sighed, "Its not a happy story."

"Most of them don't seem to be. None of them actually."

"No." She agreed, "They aren't."

I patted the bed and she came to sit next to me. I lay back down waiting for her to speak. Her voice was quiet, not much more than a whisper.

"I was very beautiful, even as a human." She began, "I came from an upper middle class family. My father was a banker. He had no sons but I was his pride. One day my mother had me dress in my best to take my father lunch. The son of the owner was there and as she had hoped, he noticed by beauty. His name was Royce. He began to court me and it wasn't long before we were engaged. I was very happy. All I wanted was to be married to a good man who would take care of me and to have children. I wanted to have babies more than anything. I was born to be a wife and mother." She sighed and lay down next to me. "One night I was at a friends house late. She had a little cottage with her husband. They were not wealthy and she was not very beautiful but I was envious of her because of her perfect baby boy. I wanted one so badly but I told myself it would be soon. Royce and I were to be married very soon and then I would have a wealthy husband and beautiful babies. Walking home, I saw him and some friends. He was very drunk. They all were." Her voice had gone even quieter and I reached out to take her hand in mine. "He boasted to them about how beautiful I was and then grabbed at me, telling me to show them how pretty I was, to give him a taste, he said I belonged to him anyways since we were to be married so I should give him a preview. I fought him off but he was much stronger. His friends laughed. There were five of them including Royce. They beat and raped me, leaving me for dead on the street." She squeezed my hand and I squeezed back wiping at the tears blurring her in my vision. "That was how Carlisle found me. He knew I was going to die. He had found Esme some years before and wanted Edward to have a companion as well. He had hoped I might be that. Of course, Edward and I rubbed each other the wrong way from the start. We love each other but as with most siblings, we bicker and have little in common besides our love and devotion to this family. I burned for three days holding on to the worst moments of my life in my memory. I woke to this life filled with the rage of what they had done to me. I took my revenge. I killed them one by one, leaving Royce for last. I was assumed dead by everyone. I had been missing for weeks by that point and blood had been found along with a scrap of my dress and a broken necklace my father had given me that Christmas. I was careful not to spill any blood when I killed them. I didn't want to drink from their blood. I made them pay for what they did to me. It is the only time I have ever killed and never have I drunk from a person."

"Rose," I hugged her sobbing quietly for her pain, "I'm so sorry." She hugged me back dry sobbing with me.

After a few moments, she started to speak again, her voice still low and sad, "For a long time I was angry with Carlisle for changing me. I hated him for most of that first year. Hated what I was, that I was still alive. I was very broken. Then I found Emmett. I felt something when I saw him and I knew I couldn't let him die. It went against everything I thought and felt about this life but I needed Carlisle to change him. I carried him for miles not daring to breath incase I lost control. Carlisle agreed, knowing I would not ask except that Emmett was very special. I helped him through his newborn year. We all did. I was still bitter about this life but it was not as bad. I did not hate Carlisle or the fact that he had changed me but I still wished he had just let me die. I grew to love Emmett. Part of me loved him the moment we met but that love grew everyday, every minute we spent together. He healed me. Now we have a very healthy sex life but for a long time he had to be very careful about how he would touch me. My memories of my life are hazy at best, all but the last moments because I had held onto them so tightly during the change. Now I wish I had let myself forget those moments and remembered better things. I am happy with my life and would not part with Emmett for anything. I love my family but the one thing I have always wanted, I will never have. I will live forever, young and beautiful and I am the wife of a wonderful man, one who balances and completes me, who has healed me and taught me to laugh but I will never be a mother. It was the one thing I lived to be and the one thing that has been forever barred from me."

"I'm so sorry Rose." She reached out and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "No one has ever cried tears for me before." She said, "I didn't tell you for you to be sorry for me. It's long ago. I have come to accept this life and the good it has brought me. Emmett was never sorry that I changed him and for that I am grateful. I love him so much, I cannot imagine an existence without him."

"Love can be enough. I know you wanted children but true love can be more than enough."

"For me it has to be. For all of us it does but not for you."

"Rose?"

"I shouldn't have told you what we were, it was a weak and selfish moment, like asking Carlisle to change Emmett. That was a decision I have never regretted but I fear what I have done to you."

"What do you mean?"

"You could have a life Bella. A real life, one full with a good man and babies."

I shook my head, "I'm not like you Rose; I never wanted babies."

"You might, one day and if you agree to become like us that could never happen."

"It couldn't anyways."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. I mean, I don't know if I'd ever maybe want one but it's pointless to want what you can't have and I can't have babies."

"Why?"

"My appendix ruptured when I was thirteen, the testing showed it caused pelvic inflammatory disease which fucked up my fallopian tubes and uterus or something. All I know is that I had to have a surgery and then the doctor said I can't ever have kids naturally but if I ever did want to have kids they can do a procedure to extract eggs, fertilize them with my partners sperm and implant them in another woman who would act as the surrogate."

She hugged me to her, "I'm so sorry Bella."

"I was to young to have thought that far ahead, I always just knew I wouldn't have kids and since I was more the mother than my own mother, I had no desire to be one. It's pointless to want what you cannot have so I just don't ever think about wanting them."

"So then you really wouldn't be losing much." She whispered as though she was speaking something bad. She seemed almost to be talking to herself as she continued. "If Carlisle changed you. I know you'd have to leave your parents behind and that would be hard but you'd have us. Carlisle and Esme are wonderful parents and we'd be sisters. Alice keeps saying this future is beautiful and so happy. You deserve that, love can be enough, just like you said and we'd all love you. We already do." She nodded as though she'd come to some kind of decision. "You should try to rest for a while. The family will meet later when Jazz gets home." She ran her fingers through my hair humming softly and I drifted to sleep.

I woke to a loud bang and bolted up in bed. I was alone in my room, it was still dark out so I looked at my clock and saw that it was well after four in the morning. I slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and washed my face before running a brush through my hair. I quietly left my room and went down the stairs.

"This is ridiculous! I can't believe we are even considering it!" a voice hissed.

"Edward, why can't you trust me about this, I can see it, you can see it in my head, everything will work out. We'll all be so happy."

"It's wrong Alice."

"Fuck you." A new voice growled, "What gives you a say."

"This is my family, stay out of it!"

"It's about our family to Prickward." The new voice growled back.

"Yeah and this is our family to Edward, you are the only one being stubborn about this." Rosalie cut in.

"I can't believe you turned to their side! You are so fucking selfish!"

"Enough." Carlisle interrupted. "Bella. Please come in."

I blushed but continued down the last couple of steps and crossed to the doors dividing the dining room. Everyone was sitting around the table including Jasper and two new red-eyed vampires. I was surprised to see their red eyes but only faltered for a moment.

"Sorry to interrupt Carlisle."

"You aren't. Please join us. This discussion involves you."

I blushed again as Alice got up and moved me to sit next to her. I pulled away and moved to the other side of the table holding my hand out to the woman, "You must be Charlotte, it's very nice to meet you."

"Yes." She grinned at me, "It's nice to meet you as well Bella." She held my hand after shaking it and turned us both to her husband before releasing my hand, "This is my mate Peter."

"Of course. It's very nice to meet you as well." I held my hand out to him as well and he laughed taking it in his and kissing my knuckles.

"Pleasure's mine Darlin."

I took my hand back and moved around the table again to take the seat Alice had indicated shooting glances over to Jasper. He sent me a small smile and a nod and I felt a gentle wave of calm slow my heart back to normal. I sent him another smile in thanks before looking around the table at each of them. "So what are we discussing then?"

"Your change." Peter spoke up first.

"We aren't changing her!" Edward growled at him.

"Then I'll do it or the Major can do it. We don't need your permission boy!" He growled back.

"I wont allow it!" He hissed.

"Allow it!" Peter laughed, "Try and stop me."

"Peter," Charlotte shushed him.

"Why are you even here!"

"Edward. Enough." Carlisle quieted him and turned to me, "Bella, you know my story, all of your stories. You know what we are and the consequences of this life. What do you have to say about it?"

"I don't know." I told him honestly.

"Yes you do." Alice insisted, "You belong with us."

"Shut up Alice." Edward growled at her. She growled back at him.

"Enough." Carlisle insisted. "Perhaps you have more questions for us?" He asked, his attention still on me.

I nodded, "I'm not entirely sure what is going on or why this is up for debate or why I was even told what you are. I get that Alice talked to me to find out about me being a threat but why become my friend?"

"I saw that we would be best friends." Alice told me. "The future was beautiful and good. I wanted it to happen."

"Selfish, just like Rosalie." Edward told her.

"Leave her alone." I snapped at him. "Quit being so mean and judgmental, so she wanted a friend get over it." Chuckles were heard all around the table and I blushed. "Ok so Alice wanted to be my friend, she still could have found a way to hide what you are. I mean you do it all the time. Why am I in the know and having my life debated?"

"Well shit; none of you told the girl nothin?" Peter demanded.

"Watch your language please." Esme told him politely "We didn't want to pressure her."

"Well fuckin pressure her. I don't know why this is even up or debate, fuckin bite the girl and let's go home Major."

Jasper growled at him and Charlotte smacked him upside the head, "Esme just asked you to watch your language so bite your damn tongue."

He nodded and turned to glare at Jasper. "Statement still stands cussing or not."

Jasper glared at him, "Sit there and be quiet a bit Captain." Peter nodded and sat back in his chair. Jasper just nodded at Carlisle.

"Let's vote." Emmett suggested. "I vote Bella goes Vamp."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at him but agreed, "I vote yes." She smiled at me and Edward sent her a death glare.

"I vote yes!" Alice bounced in her chair.

"Esme?" Carlisle asked.

She nodded, "I agree it has to be Bella's choice, I want what is best for this family and I believe that is having her in it."

"Peter?" Carlisle asked.

"He's not part of this family." Edward insisted.

"He's part of my family boy." Jasper growled at him, his eyes dark and everything about him radiating danger. I wondered if it was wrong that it sort of turned me on. I saw him flick his eyes to me, then his lip twitch up in a smile and I cursed myself and him; fucking lust and fucking empath.

Peter looked from me to Jasper and Jasper nodded at him, "I vote fuck yes." Charlotte glared at him and he turned to Emse, "Sorry ma'am." I saw her fight a smile and nod to him.

"Charlotte?" Carlisle continued as though any side whispers or looks were not happening.

"I'm sorry Bella but on this I wouldn't think twice. Better to ask forgiveness than permission. I'd do it without asking. Obviously I'm a yes."

"Edward, we know you are a no. Correct?" Carlisle turned to his son who nodded, "That leaves you Jasper."

"And you." Jasper returned.

He sighed, "I do not know if it would be the right thing to curse another to this life. It is something I have always struggled with. I've often wondered if I made the right choice or was only being selfish. I never regretted building this family but I did regret taking away that choice, never so much as I had with Rosalie because it was not what she would have chosen, even now, happy as she is, she might have chosen different. For once, a choice is given but I cannot reconcile that with its lack of necessity. All those I have changed were dying. I was lonely so I changed a companion; I created an entire family and want nothing more than their happiness even if that means changing another. I have done so before, once to try to find a companion for Edward and once for Rosalie when she brought Emmett to me. If Edward had brought me Alice, I would have changed her. I love my family and I'm selfish. If she were dying, I would not hesitate without asking. If it is her choice now then, I stand by it."

Everyone turned to look at me but my eyes remained on Jasper, "Jazz?"

"Edward is the only one who opposes the change." He answered.

I turned to look at Edward, "Why?"

"I know what you said before but I would not risk your soul. Bella you are beautiful and good and kind and you deserve to have a good and normal life."

"You protest only because you fear for my soul?"

"Yes." He nodded. "I have no doubt in Alice or her visions. The future you would have with us is happy but you deserve more."

"What? What is it that I deserve in this life that I cannot have in yours?"

"Your parents, your friends, food, sleep, dreams, sunny beaches filled with laughter and people. You could have love and children, you could grow old and go to heaven, your soul not eternally damned to wander the earth and watch people grow old and die around you. To not become a monster always fighting your instinct to kill and sometimes loosing that battle having to live with the faces of your victims."

I nodded, "the rest of you voted yes." I looked around the table at each of them, settling on Carlisle, "Why?" I sighed, "I still don't understand why me? You want me to make a decision without telling me what choice I'm really making. You tell me the pros and cons of this life and that the future would be beautiful but not why. Would my future not be beautiful if I didn't become a vampire? What would be the difference besides the living forever and not aging no sunny beach day's stuff? Why would I consider trading my life in for a new one?"

"Alice?" Carlisle nodded to her to speak, "Can you see the future should Bella remain human?"

Alice nodded and her eyes shot to Edward as she bit her lip.

"Do not lie." He told her growling.

Alice's eyes filled with liquid as she looked at me, "You have a good future, it's mostly happy. At least it will be if you follow the course you are on now but things can change, they can always change."

"Things can change if she were a vampire as well." Edward added.

I turned to Carlisle with questioning eyes, "Please explain."

He sighed and turned to Jasper.

"You know how I said Emmett was special Bella. That I knew I couldn't let him die, even though I hated this life and never wanted to curse another to it?"

I turned to Rosalie and nodded, "Esme was special too. Carlisle couldn't let her die. He didn't struggle with the decision like with Edward and I; he just knew he had to change her. You're special too."

"Why?"

"Emmett was her mate, like Esme was mine. We only ever get one true mate. Some wait centuries to find theirs." Carlisle spoke up, "We recognize our mate instinctively, we might not understand right away what it is but somewhere deep inside us we know the truth that it is our mate and we cannot lose them."

"You're the Major's mate sugar." Charlotte told me. "He didn't recognize it at first but Alice saw it and Peter, well he just knows things and its true. If you look real deep I know you'll know it to just like Jasper does." I just stared at her.

Jasper finally broke the silence that descended, "Bella?" He looked at me concerned, "Are you alright?"

"What is she feeling?" Carlisle asked when I didn't respond.

"Nothing." Jasper whispered, "I can't feel anything from her."

I moved my eyes from him to each person sitting around the table and then they rested on Esme, "I'd like to go to sleep now. I, can we talk about this in the morning?"

She nodded, "Of course dear. You sleep, I'll make you pancakes when you wake up."

I nodded and got up from the table without looking at anyone else and made my way up to my room. When I reached the door, I turned and went into Jasper's instead. I curled into one of his soft leather chairs and stared out the glass walls to the lightening sky.

I was drifting to sleep when the door creaked open and Jasper came in. "Are you alright Darlin?" His accent was even heavier than usual.

I nodded, "It's true?"

He came to sit in the other chair and sighed, running his hand through his hair, "Yes, it is. I feel very… protective of you. I feel peace when you are near me and it bothered me to be so far this week. Alice called several times a day to assure me you were well."

"So what now?"

"You make a choice."

"The vote downstairs was pretty clear."

"Most of those yeses came with a condition of it being your choice, all of the Cullen's made that distinction, only my brother and sister would take the choice from you."

"Yet they hold back, why?"

"They do not cross me."

"So why do you hesitate? If I am your soul mate and you only get one, why is there a debate? You're the only one really affected and you said almost nothing while the others argued."

"I know more than most what kind of horror this life can hold. I have been a demon that even other demons fear. You deserve better than me."

I looked over to him and felt tears brimming my eyes. I stood up and he dropped his head to his hands. Instead of leaving I moved over to him as I did the last time we spoke and dropped to my knees in front of him, "You are not a demon Jasper." He moved his hands to look down at me and I reached up to touch his cold face, "How can I deserve better than my soul mate? I don't see a demon or a soulless monster. I see a man, one who is decent, loyal, loving and kind. I see a man struggling against impossible odds to be good and honorable. Tell me what is better than a soul mate Jasper? What man will love me or understand me better than the other half of me?"

"Bella."

"Whatever you are Jasper, let me be too."

"If the future Alice sees doesn't last..."

"Love is enough for me. If it takes me to heaven or hell as long as I am by your side, I will be ok but I could never be ok without you. Wherever you go, let me go. Whatever you are, let me be. I will never be whole without you. I will never be happy or at peace."

He pulled me up into his lap as he had before and I nuzzled by head into his neck. "I still can't feel you."

I sighed and breathed him in, relaxing against his skin. I felt his arms tighten around me and I knew he was feeling what I felt. I kissed his neck.

"I love you too Bella." He sent me a wave of love to match the words and I sighed in happiness falling asleep against his granite form.


End file.
